Nurses

It's been a tough few weeks. Last Monday my sister was rushed to hospital with a burst appendix. Then due to complications from that op, they took her back in on Tues for an emergency operation again. She is doing well but in a lot of pain and with various tubes coming out of her poor thing. So I've been making daily visits and juggling my new job and final stages of the PhD.

It's such an eye opener just how the nurses operate. I'm sure they would say they are overworked and I've always had sympathy for them. But no one comes when she presses the emergency button (which she does very rarely) and people make promises that they will come and do things and just don't. Her drip runs out and someone says "oh I'll be back to do that". They don't reappear. Something needs checking, they don't check it. Almost every visit I must go and find a nurse, who is usually sitting having a chat with another nurse.

It was the same when I was at A & E where I kept sending Alex to get my blood results/ ask questions/ get them to connect me to the drip that they had forgotten about. Each time they were sitting around having a laugh, eating pringles.

Are nurses overworked? Hmmm. I'm reserving judgment.

catch up

I've been following the US elections with interest. I find it really depressing that John McCain might win. I just had a look at his website. He's anti-abortion, but pro guns - isn't there a contradiction there? I just can't stand people like him (and his awful running mate Sarah Palin) pontificating about the desperate situation that some women and girls might find themselves in.
Of course Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant too. I feel sorry for her, she is having to marry her boyfriend to make it more acceptable and there is no way she would have the option of abortion. Of course I accept that she might want to marry her young boyfriend and keep the baby, but somehow I can't help but think there was serious arm-twisting. All in all, the idea of the Republican's coming in to power again is an extremely depressing and backwards step.

On a totally different note, I have blogged for a bit. Things have been rather hectic, with my sister rushed to hospital with a burst appendix. She's on the mend, but it was a worrying time and she feels down because she was supposed to be on holiday! But nevermind, health comes first.

I started my new job on monday, but haven't been back in because there is nothing to do until teaching starts. Well there is lots to do - course and lecture prep, finish the thesis! - but all of it can be done from home. So that's what I've been doing.

RIP Baldy

I've been following the progress of Adrian Sudbury, a young journalist who had leukaemia and campaigned to raise the profile of bone marrows. His blog "Baldy's blog" was sad and funny at times and I always felt that he was just so incredibly unlucky.
He died early this morning at only 27. How awful to die at such a young age. It sounds really glib to say that it makes you put your life in perspective but it really does. Having your health is so important and something that you can't do much about and tonight I will give Alex an extra tight cuddle.

RIP Baldy.

Chipper

Feeling decidedly more chipper this week -thanks for the kind wishes. I feel a bit of a prat moaning about my week but it really was crappy and not just because of the hamsters. But I am feeling slightly more cheerful. So what's been happening with me?

-I had my hair cut and coloured but I hate the colour. It is far too dark - not the colour that I chose. Therefore I look really pale! I wanted to tone down the blonde but now I have really dark brown hair. That will teach me to meddle.

-I haven't been watching much of the Olympics, mainly because of work and the time difference! Most of my favourites are on at 3am, which means watching highlights.

-We have a new hamster! I knew that would be one way to cheer me up, so on Sunday we went and got a new syrian and her name is Milly. She is very cute and very small - she can't quite work out how to control the wheel yet and keeps flying out of it! Bless her.

So not much has changed but at least my mood has!

And then there was one...

I have had an unbelievably awful week for many many reasons which I can't bear to write about.
and now I have lost Rosie too. She died yesterday.

In Memory of Felix

Happier times....

Felix on the right, the assassin (Oscar) on the left

RIP Felix

Having blogged about Rosie and worrying about her for the last week, I can't believe that I have just had one of the other hamsters put to sleep.

Oscar and Felix (pictured above- Felix on the left, eating some carrot) have lived happily for 20 months. They have had the odd play fight but generally get along fine. Until 2 nights ago when Felix was attacked by Oscar, so much so that he was bleeding and cowering in a corner. Very unlike Oscar who is usually just a ball of fluff and very docile. Last night the same thing happened again and so I decided that they would need to be separated. Only I didn't get that far. After returning from the pet shop with a new cage I found Felix again cowering. But his eye was out of the socket -sorry to be gruesome. He was in a terrible state.

So I took him to the vets at 12pm and they found he had lots of other injuries - mostly bite marks and scratches. So sadly he had to be put to sleep. It was horrible, something I haven't had to do before. Now I want to throw Oscar out of the window for being so savage - but obviously I won't.

So it's a sad day here.

Lost ring

I can't believe it's been over a year since I lost my wedding ring. Yes, those of you who did not read about the saga here is a refresher....

Sat 7th July 2007, took off ring to make dinner. Put it on top of fridge. Two hours later it is gone. Whole flat searched by me, Alex, family. Everything pulled out, lifted, opened, poked...no ring. We did not leave the flat so it cannot physically have gone. Yet despite a thorough search it never materialised. (yes we did check in the fridge, the lining of the fridge, the mechanics of the fridge and in the rubbish bin!)

So I got a new - very different -ring made which I love. In many ways it was more special as I got it made from my engagement ring, using the gold and diamond from that.

But it's still not the same as having the original and equally beautiful and diamondelicious ring.

Makes me sad :-(

This and That

Feeling rather odd at the moment - oddly excited!

Coming nearer to the end of the PhD (still LOADS to do though). Going to start a new job on Sept 1st and moving to Kent. I am really, really starting to get excited about things
BUT
I need to focus on my work and make sure I finish it! It's very difficult to maintain a good work pattern when I want to move on to the next stage.

Rosie the hamster, is doing really well! She won't survive wet tail but is still going strong, 1 week later and although she is hobbling round in a hunched way and making strange noises she is still very perky and has regained her apetite. I love her determination - if only I was like that.

On an unrelated note, I have been following "Baldy's Blog" - I mentioned it ages ago, a young guy who is dying from leukaemia. He now only has weeks to live and I would urge you to read his blog - of course it is a sad read but also oddly uplifting too. He just went on "desert island discs" on BBC Sheffield and it got me thinking about what songs I would choose. You can only have 6.....

1) Beatles - In my life

2) The White Stripes - Seven nation army

3) Etta James - At Last

4) Billy Joel - Honesty

5) John Mayer - Waiting for the World to Change

6) Sam Cooke - A Change is Gonna Come

Thought for the day

Max Mosley is Chairman of the FIA - governing body of Formula 1.

In March the News of the World reports that he has been involved with a sex scandal. He had engaged in "Sado-masochistic" acts with 5 prostitutes, allegedly with some Nazi role playing.

He was outraged - how dare they suggest that there had been a Nazi element to his actions! He sued the NOTW and another paper in France.

Yesterday the Judge awarded him £60,000 damages for breach of privacy. Mosley was delighted because the "Nazi lie was completely invented". The Judge ruled that if there had been a Nazi theme, then it WOULD be in the public interest. But engaging in sex acts with 5 prostitutes is not.

Now whether or not you agree with the public's right to know is one thing. But what I find so curious is that we now appear to live in a country where being perceived to be a Nazi is less socially acceptable than cheating on your wife (and 2 sons) with FIVE prostitutes! He seemed only concerned that the public would view him as a fascist. Nice guy

A Brief Hiatus

Ooh I haven't blogged for a while. But like Veggie Carrie, it's because my daily life is spent typing lots of words on a computer - so writing a blog is the last thing on my mind. I have also been totally consumed by my PhD which is slowly stumbling towards its conclusion. So what's new with me?

-My hamster Rosie is very ill. Lots of people take the piss because she is "only" a hamster, as if her size or short life span means I shouldn't give a damn about her. That really irritates me. She is no less important than if I had a cat or other animal. Working at home a lot means I go a bit crazy and its nice to see the hamsters when they are awake. They give me comfort! Rosie is over 2 years old and went to the vets last week to have her teeth trimmed. Since then she has really gone down hill and can't seem to eat anything, she is just hobbling round her cage. So I am spoon feeding her soft things and cat food. Yes hamsters can have cat food, it really helps when they are ill. But for Rosie it might be too late.

-We are looking around for places to rent when we move to Kent in September. We thought about buying but with the market as it is right now, the property would definitely go down in value. We also aren't sure if we will like it there, so renting is less of a risk. I just can't wait - although can't do anything about it until I finish the PhD.

-I have gone a little mad with the pressure of finishing a PhD in time to start my exciting new job which begins in September. It's very daunting and means we won't have a holiday until December or January. But it's great for me to have got a job - a good one - so easily when many of my colleagues spend months or years looking for academic work.

-Talking of going mad, after having food poisoning I was struck down by terrible headache caused by my own stupidity. I got dehydrated which bought on a migraine and I took painkillers which made me sick. I do feel constantly tired, which is probably a symptom of the things I'm dealing with right now. I hope to have found some "serenity" by the end of the year.

-Alex, as always is completely mad but totally amazing. Thank God for him!

Scores on the Doors

There is a way that you can check the health and safety standards of restaurants and cafes. Your local council will do a random check and award a number of stars for hygiene standards. 3 stars and above is good - below is dodgy. I just discovered that my local eaterie where my food poisoning emerged got 1 star.

So look up your local favourite restaurant and be shocked....

http://www.scoresonthedoors.org.uk/index.php

Going veggie

going veggie seems like a great idea right now after I had food poisoning on Sunday night. Violent sickness, a trip to the hospital, a drip and now I just feel crap. All because of some beef.

Yes, it's definitely time to ditch meat

Patients and Patience

So I now have a chest infection. Yes, my throat had had enough of being ill, so passed it down to my chest- very nice! The problem is that I am coughing all of the time - especially at night.

Now I might have mentioned that I am married to a generally marvellous and lovely man. He is kind, sweet, loving.... but he is a nightmare when I have a cough. It is one of the few things he can't stand at night. I can't help coughing of course because I'm ill. He can't help sighing and saying "do you have to cough?" (no, i do it for fun, is my reply!) Last night was a particularly uncomfortable one because he then kept counting down how many hours he had left until the alarm clock. "five hours left"......"four hours left".....
In the end, he went to sleep in the lounge.

I stayed awake and .....coughed.

Lost in transition

I am feeling very frustrated at the moment.

My life is undergoing a big transition - or will be in a couple of months and I am terrified. I recently went for and got, the job of my dreams - yet I don't feel elated. I feel scared. I have been studying for 10 years doing various degrees, culminating in the PhD. All that time doing one thing in one place means that moving on has become something that fills me with fear. Finishing the PhD by September will require some serious graft and I can't motivate myself. It's like I'm on self destruct.

We will also be moving. Not too far, but to another county. That too is exciting and any chance to move away from our dreadful, odious neighbours is great.

So why do I feel so on edge? It doesn't help that just when I started working hard this week I have been struck down by a throat virus which has left me sapped of energy. How can I turn the corner and get the work done!?

Vote!

Please vote on my mini poll! I'm interested in what others like reading about. I don't go on about my day to day life for fear it's a tad dull.

Please VOTE!!!

Irritated? Moi?

I am irritated today by a number of things....

1) This year I'm not watching Big Brother. It'll be the first series I don't watch - honestly the people on there are like caricatures, not real people.
One of the girls said she had strong views, but was blissfully unaware of the contradictions. Against fox hunting, eating animals and abortion but in favour of shipping foreigners back to their own country. What a humanitarian! And then some idiot boy - Dane or Dale or something saying that if there was "fanny" in the house he would "go and get it". I really dispair of our future if these creatures represent young people. Sad.

2) I'm also annoyed that the government might win the vote on 42 day detention. As usual, the "lock em up" brigade have been spouting on about how it doesn't matter because a) there's no smoke without fire or b) We need to fight against terrorists. That's okay if you are white and non-Muslim because it's unlikely that you will be targetted and held without charge for 6 weeks. What are we "fighting" for, if we don't want to defend our right to freedom and civil liberty? Imagine being held in prison for 6 weeks and then released without charge? It's a disgrace. Other countries - including the US - manage it in far less time.

3) Ulrika Jonsson has given birth to her 4th child by - shock - her 4th partner! She has been called all sorts of names, yet no one does this to serial breeders like Mick Jagger or Rod Stewart.

Maiden names

My best friend gets married on Saturday and I'm very excited. She, like me is a modern kind of gal and won't take her husbands surname when she marries. Nor will she take the "mrs".

It's a funny thing, discussing names upon marriage and something women cannot really discuss with each other because it tends to be a little taboo. Two of my friends took their husbands names and I felt a little sad about it. But it was their decision I guess and I can see how the force of tradition makes it easier to go with the flow. I constantly have to explain my name, people address me as Mrs **** - assuming -wrongly - that I have the same surname as my husband. I refuse to answer marital status questions because it causes a judgment. People assume that I'm a "Mrs" and it irritates me. They also deliberately refuse to acknowledge my choices, addressing letters to "Mr and Mrs". For me it's about my identity and dropping my name completely would lose some of that. Of course my surname is actually my father's name - but it is the one that I have grown up with.

I can see why people do it for ease and to create a new family unit. But in that case, why not use the woman's name? Alex completely supports my decision. In fact he said "call yourself whatever you want, we are still married!". Touché

Playing the Race Card

I've been following the Obama - Clinton battle with interest. It seems Obama will win the nomination and maybe become the first black president. This is a massive deal because in the US - and in Britain, ethnic minority people still rarely reach the higher echelons of power. It seems sad to me that the battle between Barack and Hillary is about black versus woman and shows that we still have a long way to go before we get gender and racial equality. In any event, racism and sexism are 2 totally different things and it's really annoying and patronising to think of them in the same way.

On Fivelive this morning they have been talking about race discrimination. When people say they felt they didn't get jobs because of their race, they are accused of "playing the race card" because there is no proof that it wasn't just because they weren't up to the job. But discrimination can be much more subtle. Few employers would say "I'm not employing someone black". But the speakers on fivelive noted the shock when they walked into a interview because based on their CV, the employer was expecting someone white. Sometimes discrimination isn't blatant, its a feeling. No doubt there are some people who do bemoan everything and everyone as racist - but they should not distract us from the genuine cases. Discrimination can also be in terms of the networks we have, our contacts and our schooling which are still sadly often defined by race.


“Playing the race card” is a horrible way to describe someone’s attitude because you are suggesting that they are moaning and have no business doing so. What is so wrong with referring to race as an explanation for why you didn’t get a job? Why are we frightened to admit that many of us make judgments about each other based on it? I think it’s because the idea of racism has become extremely value-laden. If you suggest someone made a racist comment or remark, most will recoil in horror. Or they’ll start a sentence with the classic “I’m not racist but…”.


Look also at the media. The recent stabbings of teenagers in London has been covered by the press but mainly when the victim is white. Jimmy Mizen and Rob Knox are the 2 white victims that I can easily name because they were plastered over the front pages of the tabloids. They were church goers, or had a part in a Harry Potter film but more importantly, they were white. They have been dragged into the awful seedy world of gangs. Not to worry if it's a black life, we'll just mention it briefly and move on. It's so sad. And don't get me started on my opinions had Madeleine McCann been white.

So, rant over. I had to get that off my chest. I'm not a loony left winger but I do find it sad that in this day and age there is still a racist undercurrent in our society. I am an anti-racist and a feminist. Will we have a black Prime Minister? Not in my lifetime.

This article is interesting… Click

Fun times!

These funny clips will make you laugh.

1) Britain's Got Talent - Signature. I don't normally watch this show, but caught this act and they were so funny. It makes a change from the moaning "I've been bullied and live on a council estate" sob stories. Click

2) I don't normally like to take the mickey out of the mentally challenged - but Miss Teen USA, sorry - this is great! Click

3) If you aren't acquainted with Charlie Brooker -shame on you! Click

4) From the first series of The Apprentice, I'll never forget James and his wolf jacket! Click