A- Available or Single? – Married
B- Best Friends? – Alex
C- Cake or Pie? – Cake
D- Drink of Choice? – Kenyan Tea
E- Essential item? – Mascara.
F - Favourite Colour? - Pink or Red
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? – Gummi Bears
H- Hometown? – Leigh-On-Sea.
I- Indulgence? – Chocolate fudge cake, glass of milk and a massage
J- January or February? – February
K- Kids and Names? – No children
L- Life is incomplete without? – Alex
M- Marriage Date? – 25th September
N- Number of Siblings? – One younger sister
O- Oranges or Apples? – oranges
P- Phobias/Fears? – Spiders!
Q- Favourite Quote? – "feminism is the radical notion that women are people"
R- Reasons to smile? – Alex
S- Season? – Autumn
T- Tag 3 People? – No, but copy if you wish
U- Unknown Fact About Me? – I have a 2 inch scar on my left leg from jumping on a radiator when I was 5. I had 6 stitches.
V- Vegetable You Hate? – Beetroot, it turns my stomach!
W- Worst Habit? – Pulling my hair out.
X- X-rays You've Had? – Teeth, spine.
Y- Your Favourite Foods? – Chocolate, anything with balsamic vinegar, strong cheeses
Z- Zodiac? – Scorpio
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sexism and Society
In Kent a local councillor has had to resign after printing some extremist opinions on his blog. I know a lot about this story - mainly because Alex has been covering it at work (he is a journalist). The man in question wrote on his blog that serial single parents on benefits should be considered for compulsory sterilization. He later said that he had pasted the quotes from another blog and that they weren't his own. Quite clearly this is untrue and irrelevant anyway. You must take responsibility for your own blog - especially in a position of power. I am careful not to write about certain issues involving my work, even though it would be hard to identify me personally.
But aside from that, many people have spoken up in support of his views. "Sterilize the scroungers!" "I'm fed up paying for these layabouts"! We often squirm in discomfort when we see a family with 6 children on tv and no member of the family has ever had a job. There are some people who are lazy and have no intention of ever working. But how would compulsory sterilization even work? Would we take people in handcuffs down to the clinic and then tie them to a bed? What if someone "reformed" their life and then got a job. Sterilization is pretty final - especially for a woman. There would be no more children. It also asks even bigger questions about whether people with money can look down on the poor members of society and force them not to have children. I do not like that elitist position. Who next - the disabled? Prostitutes? Beggars? In fact why not just exterminate them completely as they are so useless in society?
Needless to say, much of the debate is about single mothers - not serial fathers. It's always the woman who is to blame - look at Shannon Matthews, her mother had "seven children by five fathers". What a slag! How outrageous! While we might not agree with her lifestyle, she is probably doing her best to bring up her children - albeit on benefits - when the fathers get away scot-free. A single mother is often single because the fathers have buggered off and left them in the lurch. It is the same kind of sexism directed towards Ulrika Jonsson. She is pregnant for the fourth time, but a fourth different man. In the press she has been criticised and labelled a 4x4 mother, a loose woman who can't control herself. What about Rod Stewart - he has at least 7 children by 4 woman. And Mick Jagger too. But they are studs, spreading their seed, so it's okay.
Similarly, the venom directed at Heather Mills last week over her divorce. Yes she is a bit of a loony, yes she is greedy and yes she is a fantasist. But all of this talk of her being a "porn star" - she can never ever live down the fact that she once appeared in a low budget film. But why is that more horrifying than the massive number of men who watch porn? So what if she married Paul for his money? Maybe he married her for her youthful looks - which is worse? The mother of Scarlett Keeling - murdered in Goa has been subject to scrutiny because of her "alternative lifestyle". No mention of the father of course, the mother is to blame for abandoning her daughter. Kate McCann was criticised for looking "not upset enough". We women can't win!
Last week I listened to a debate about maternity leave and could not believe the attitudes of employers who would not hire women of child bearing age. Women are criticised as "unwomanly" for not having children, yet can't have a career if they do. If you stay at home, you are lacking ambition and if you work you are selfish.
It all leaves me with a nasty feeling that we still live in a misogynistic society where women can never live up to the perfect image that they (we) are supposed to.
But aside from that, many people have spoken up in support of his views. "Sterilize the scroungers!" "I'm fed up paying for these layabouts"! We often squirm in discomfort when we see a family with 6 children on tv and no member of the family has ever had a job. There are some people who are lazy and have no intention of ever working. But how would compulsory sterilization even work? Would we take people in handcuffs down to the clinic and then tie them to a bed? What if someone "reformed" their life and then got a job. Sterilization is pretty final - especially for a woman. There would be no more children. It also asks even bigger questions about whether people with money can look down on the poor members of society and force them not to have children. I do not like that elitist position. Who next - the disabled? Prostitutes? Beggars? In fact why not just exterminate them completely as they are so useless in society?
Needless to say, much of the debate is about single mothers - not serial fathers. It's always the woman who is to blame - look at Shannon Matthews, her mother had "seven children by five fathers". What a slag! How outrageous! While we might not agree with her lifestyle, she is probably doing her best to bring up her children - albeit on benefits - when the fathers get away scot-free. A single mother is often single because the fathers have buggered off and left them in the lurch. It is the same kind of sexism directed towards Ulrika Jonsson. She is pregnant for the fourth time, but a fourth different man. In the press she has been criticised and labelled a 4x4 mother, a loose woman who can't control herself. What about Rod Stewart - he has at least 7 children by 4 woman. And Mick Jagger too. But they are studs, spreading their seed, so it's okay.
Similarly, the venom directed at Heather Mills last week over her divorce. Yes she is a bit of a loony, yes she is greedy and yes she is a fantasist. But all of this talk of her being a "porn star" - she can never ever live down the fact that she once appeared in a low budget film. But why is that more horrifying than the massive number of men who watch porn? So what if she married Paul for his money? Maybe he married her for her youthful looks - which is worse? The mother of Scarlett Keeling - murdered in Goa has been subject to scrutiny because of her "alternative lifestyle". No mention of the father of course, the mother is to blame for abandoning her daughter. Kate McCann was criticised for looking "not upset enough". We women can't win!
Last week I listened to a debate about maternity leave and could not believe the attitudes of employers who would not hire women of child bearing age. Women are criticised as "unwomanly" for not having children, yet can't have a career if they do. If you stay at home, you are lacking ambition and if you work you are selfish.
It all leaves me with a nasty feeling that we still live in a misogynistic society where women can never live up to the perfect image that they (we) are supposed to.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Days off
I've had a nice few days with Alex. I feel guilty for not working, but the time off has done me good.
We went down to Tunbridge Wells as we are looking to move there at the end of the Summer, for Alex's work. It's so pleasant down there, friendly people, nice parks etc. I think we'll be happy there. We have also spent some time shopping as one of my closest friends is getting married in June. I need an outfit and of course can't find a thing. Like most women, I am 2 different dress sizes- 8/10 on the top and 10/12 on the bottom. This makes dresses a bit tricky and I must avoid anything non-fitted and floaty as I end up looking like I'm wearing a tent. I found this lovely dress in French Connection. Tried the 12 on and it was massive. Then tried the 10 on and it was too tight! Damn these dresses. So I showed Alex and the nosey shop assistant stepped in. The conversation went like this:
Her: What's the problem?
Me: Well the 10 is too tight and the 12 is huge on me. (showed her)
Her: Well I'd get the 10, when is the wedding?
Me: June
Her: You've got time
Me: Time for what?
Her: Too lose the weight
Me: Oh, right thanks
Her: Well I would if I were you
Me: Thanks
Then I put both back and left. I don't think I particularly need to lose weight, although I would have been happier if the 10 had fitted. But what can you do? Buy a dress that is too small and try to lose weight?
The dilemmas!
We went down to Tunbridge Wells as we are looking to move there at the end of the Summer, for Alex's work. It's so pleasant down there, friendly people, nice parks etc. I think we'll be happy there. We have also spent some time shopping as one of my closest friends is getting married in June. I need an outfit and of course can't find a thing. Like most women, I am 2 different dress sizes- 8/10 on the top and 10/12 on the bottom. This makes dresses a bit tricky and I must avoid anything non-fitted and floaty as I end up looking like I'm wearing a tent. I found this lovely dress in French Connection. Tried the 12 on and it was massive. Then tried the 10 on and it was too tight! Damn these dresses. So I showed Alex and the nosey shop assistant stepped in. The conversation went like this:
Her: What's the problem?
Me: Well the 10 is too tight and the 12 is huge on me. (showed her)
Her: Well I'd get the 10, when is the wedding?
Me: June
Her: You've got time
Me: Time for what?
Her: Too lose the weight
Me: Oh, right thanks
Her: Well I would if I were you
Me: Thanks
Then I put both back and left. I don't think I particularly need to lose weight, although I would have been happier if the 10 had fitted. But what can you do? Buy a dress that is too small and try to lose weight?
The dilemmas!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Whinging Moan
I woke this morning to the sound of an irritating buzzing noise. It was like a swarm of mosquito's had descended on me. Yes, my radio was on and playing out Formula 1. I detest and loathe car racing although my Dad loves it. I guess it is like Marmite. There is no in between.
We had a nice Indian takeaway at Alex's folks house last night. It was a great evening and good to get out of this shoebox. I am so fed up working here, it's really disheartening. I had taped "I'd do anything" on BBC1, I love those audition shows and unlike on ITV they don't draw out the auditions for weeks and months. I was disappointed that my favourites were all knocked out. I also noticed that most of the "Oliver's" were from boarding schools and had posh backgrounds. For some reason I find that really irritating and I am not quite sure why. I wouldn't put my child up to public ridicule and rejection on TV. How many children really know what they are getting themselves into?
It has stopped snowing outside now, although it was coming down quite hard earlier. When I was younger I used to love snow - playing in it and the normal time off of school. But now it's an inconvenience. Plus the local feral children delight in throwing snowballs with stones in at your car which is always fun.
Since I wrote this I have discovered that my most favourite film ever is on Five and I've been watching for the last half hour. It's "The Slipper and the Rose" and I just love it - the songs, the frocks and of course Richard Chamberlain. When I found out he was gay I was devastated (why? - he's, like 75 now!) It's such a great, camp film and my top of all time.
We had a nice Indian takeaway at Alex's folks house last night. It was a great evening and good to get out of this shoebox. I am so fed up working here, it's really disheartening. I had taped "I'd do anything" on BBC1, I love those audition shows and unlike on ITV they don't draw out the auditions for weeks and months. I was disappointed that my favourites were all knocked out. I also noticed that most of the "Oliver's" were from boarding schools and had posh backgrounds. For some reason I find that really irritating and I am not quite sure why. I wouldn't put my child up to public ridicule and rejection on TV. How many children really know what they are getting themselves into?
It has stopped snowing outside now, although it was coming down quite hard earlier. When I was younger I used to love snow - playing in it and the normal time off of school. But now it's an inconvenience. Plus the local feral children delight in throwing snowballs with stones in at your car which is always fun.
Since I wrote this I have discovered that my most favourite film ever is on Five and I've been watching for the last half hour. It's "The Slipper and the Rose" and I just love it - the songs, the frocks and of course Richard Chamberlain. When I found out he was gay I was devastated (why? - he's, like 75 now!) It's such a great, camp film and my top of all time.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Cold fish
So my friend died. I was okay at first, but yesterday was chatting with another friend about him and burst into tears. I just can't believe that such a brilliant mind (and he really was an amazing intellect) has just been switched off.
I am working to a really tight deadline as my supervisor wants a draft of my work by the 31st. I need to take a few days off to gather my thoughts and just "be" for a little. So I emailed him and explained the situation and that I needed another week. He replied with no sympathy, no "sorry to hear the news" or anything and just asked when I would get it to him as he needed to re-schedule his work. I found that really cold and now I feel under pressure again.
I am working to a really tight deadline as my supervisor wants a draft of my work by the 31st. I need to take a few days off to gather my thoughts and just "be" for a little. So I emailed him and explained the situation and that I needed another week. He replied with no sympathy, no "sorry to hear the news" or anything and just asked when I would get it to him as he needed to re-schedule his work. I found that really cold and now I feel under pressure again.
Monday, March 17, 2008
And so it begins again
Last Summer we had a hellish time because the woman in the flat downstairs got a new, dodgy boyfriend. Both in their 50's (not that that is relevant) they embarked on a summer of drunken parties and shouting. It was an absolute nightmare, I can't even begin to tell you. We tried the polite approach at first but she was totally unresponsive. Not rude or aggressive, just "oh, yes I did have a party". So we (I) moaned and whinged and didn't do anything about it. Then the degenerate boyfriend went - probably to prison and peace was restored. We did not hear a peep from September .....until now.
Yes last Monday night a party began again. A new loser boyfriend, presumably an alcoholic like her. We stayed at my mums to get a good nights sleep. Maybe, please God it was a one off. Until last night. 11.30pm and the music started, accompanied by the "singing" and drunken shouting. So at 1am I cracked and rang the emergency "noise nuisance" number at the council. I was so angry. They sent a guy out who at 1.30 knocked on the door and presumably told them to keep the noise down. Then he left and there was an hour of drunken shouting, obviously they were annoyed at having their fun spoiled. They don't know it was us but it wouldn't take a genius.
Alex thinks I overreacted - he could sleep through a nuclear bomb. But I just couldn't face the misery of the summer and wanted to take "action" early. What should we do? There seem only a few options:
1) The polite approach (been there, done that)
2) The angry threatening approach (but we are law abiding citizens)
3) Do nothing and just moan at home (But why should they get away with it?)
4) Pursue the legal route (although because they own their home, this won't achieve much either).
Alex worries about repurcussions after last night as they were very angered by it. But I am left feeling very fed up as in the end, people can do what they want and there is nothing you can really do.
Yes last Monday night a party began again. A new loser boyfriend, presumably an alcoholic like her. We stayed at my mums to get a good nights sleep. Maybe, please God it was a one off. Until last night. 11.30pm and the music started, accompanied by the "singing" and drunken shouting. So at 1am I cracked and rang the emergency "noise nuisance" number at the council. I was so angry. They sent a guy out who at 1.30 knocked on the door and presumably told them to keep the noise down. Then he left and there was an hour of drunken shouting, obviously they were annoyed at having their fun spoiled. They don't know it was us but it wouldn't take a genius.
Alex thinks I overreacted - he could sleep through a nuclear bomb. But I just couldn't face the misery of the summer and wanted to take "action" early. What should we do? There seem only a few options:
1) The polite approach (been there, done that)
2) The angry threatening approach (but we are law abiding citizens)
3) Do nothing and just moan at home (But why should they get away with it?)
4) Pursue the legal route (although because they own their home, this won't achieve much either).
Alex worries about repurcussions after last night as they were very angered by it. But I am left feeling very fed up as in the end, people can do what they want and there is nothing you can really do.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Death
I haven't blogged this week as I have been going through a rollercoaster of emotions.
Last weekend we went out with the Bopper and got talking about death. Not sure why it cropped up, but we got onto the subject of funerals. Why does everyone want to plan their own funeral? You won't be alive for it. Yet I know that I would want to be buried rather than cremated. I would also want 2 songs played - Don't Stop me Now by Queen (tacky, I know) and This Woman's Work by Kate Bush. Apart from that I am unfussy. I don't fear death at all but I do fear something happening to Alex. That thought keeps me awake at night and terrifies me.
What has really affected me this week is that my friend Ian from Uni had a brain aneurysm last week and I have found out that he will never recover. His life support has been turned off and it will take a few days before he will likely pass away. I feel so angry about it all, but don't know why. I really do feel pissed off about it, I guess it's the injustice of it. He wasn't doing a PhD for career reasons but because he genuinely wanted to effect change in society. He is a great guy and I am feeling so awful about it all. They thought that once the oxygen was turned off that death would follow quite quickly, but he is fighting it. There is some comfort in that.
A new list of songs has been added on the left. This one is for Ian, who actually gave a damn....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpTQCQEFhg
Last weekend we went out with the Bopper and got talking about death. Not sure why it cropped up, but we got onto the subject of funerals. Why does everyone want to plan their own funeral? You won't be alive for it. Yet I know that I would want to be buried rather than cremated. I would also want 2 songs played - Don't Stop me Now by Queen (tacky, I know) and This Woman's Work by Kate Bush. Apart from that I am unfussy. I don't fear death at all but I do fear something happening to Alex. That thought keeps me awake at night and terrifies me.
What has really affected me this week is that my friend Ian from Uni had a brain aneurysm last week and I have found out that he will never recover. His life support has been turned off and it will take a few days before he will likely pass away. I feel so angry about it all, but don't know why. I really do feel pissed off about it, I guess it's the injustice of it. He wasn't doing a PhD for career reasons but because he genuinely wanted to effect change in society. He is a great guy and I am feeling so awful about it all. They thought that once the oxygen was turned off that death would follow quite quickly, but he is fighting it. There is some comfort in that.
A new list of songs has been added on the left. This one is for Ian, who actually gave a damn....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpTQCQEFhg
Saturday, March 8, 2008
What's in a name?
I was listening the the radio yesterday as usual and there was a caller on air called "Africa". I thought, what an amazing name! It got me thinking about names.
I have always liked my name - Hannah. It's a palindrome which makes me feel special and it's not so common that you hear it all the time. It also can't be shortened and I like that too! I saw an article with Neil Ruddock who said that his daughter was called Pebbles and I thought what an odd name. But what constitutes a normal name? Who decided that John, Robert and Clive were normal names and Pebbles, Friday and Africa were abnormal? I think a name is important as it defines a character. You always have to think about the child going through life. Will they be taken seriously as Pebbles? Or will they just be seen as a glamour model!? Some names will probably never come back in fashion - such as Carol (my mums name) and Deirdre. But then Alfie, Albert and George are en vogue again now so who knows?
My personal choice for children's names would be Max, Bayley and Matilda. They are our future 3 children! Original, interesting and not embarrasing!
I have always liked my name - Hannah. It's a palindrome which makes me feel special and it's not so common that you hear it all the time. It also can't be shortened and I like that too! I saw an article with Neil Ruddock who said that his daughter was called Pebbles and I thought what an odd name. But what constitutes a normal name? Who decided that John, Robert and Clive were normal names and Pebbles, Friday and Africa were abnormal? I think a name is important as it defines a character. You always have to think about the child going through life. Will they be taken seriously as Pebbles? Or will they just be seen as a glamour model!? Some names will probably never come back in fashion - such as Carol (my mums name) and Deirdre. But then Alfie, Albert and George are en vogue again now so who knows?
My personal choice for children's names would be Max, Bayley and Matilda. They are our future 3 children! Original, interesting and not embarrasing!
Friday, March 7, 2008
I hate
My likes and dislikes:
-I love banana yoghurt, but you can't get a smooth version anywhere. I have to buy crunch corners with the choc flakes, but I'd rather not. I hate banana's though and anything else banana flavoured.
-I love strawberries but hate strawberry icecream or milkshake.
-I like homemade cookies, but not shop bought ones.
-I don't drink anything fizzy.
-I love the smell of a new book.
-I start reading about 3 books a month, but never finish them. If i'm not gripped by page 3 then they don't get read! I have no persistance.
-I waste so much time on the internet and then moan that I can't write the PhD.
-I don't like dogs (sorry)
-I don't have an i-pod nor any desire to get one
-I will wear cheap necklaces and earrings but not rings
-I still can't believe that my lost wedding ring never turned up
-I love banana yoghurt, but you can't get a smooth version anywhere. I have to buy crunch corners with the choc flakes, but I'd rather not. I hate banana's though and anything else banana flavoured.
-I love strawberries but hate strawberry icecream or milkshake.
-I like homemade cookies, but not shop bought ones.
-I don't drink anything fizzy.
-I love the smell of a new book.
-I start reading about 3 books a month, but never finish them. If i'm not gripped by page 3 then they don't get read! I have no persistance.
-I waste so much time on the internet and then moan that I can't write the PhD.
-I don't like dogs (sorry)
-I don't have an i-pod nor any desire to get one
-I will wear cheap necklaces and earrings but not rings
-I still can't believe that my lost wedding ring never turned up
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Awful
I've just done something really stupid.
On Jeremy Vine they were discussing the Marine in Iraq who was filmed throwing a puppy off of a cliff. I just watched the video and am very upset about it.
I honestly despair of the depravity of some of our troops in Iraq. I know they see barbarism around them, but surely we are better than that? We've all seen them abusing Iraqi prisoners and read about the accusations of rape and violence. Anyone found acting like this should be sent home and banned from working in the Army or the Marines. Why do videos of animals being hurt always upset me more than watching human beings in misery?
On Jeremy Vine they were discussing the Marine in Iraq who was filmed throwing a puppy off of a cliff. I just watched the video and am very upset about it.
I honestly despair of the depravity of some of our troops in Iraq. I know they see barbarism around them, but surely we are better than that? We've all seen them abusing Iraqi prisoners and read about the accusations of rape and violence. Anyone found acting like this should be sent home and banned from working in the Army or the Marines. Why do videos of animals being hurt always upset me more than watching human beings in misery?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Doggy clothing
what is it with dogs and clothes? There seem to be so many pet owners who think it cute to dress their dogs - some in coats, hats, socks and scarves. It's bizarre and cruel I think.
All animals have perfectly adequate coats of their own and are not supposed to be fashion accessories. It's like when people carry dogs in designer bags, it's not fair on the dog!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Mother's Day
So today is Mother's Day.
Of course I am lucky because I have a lovely and unselfish mum. I always wonder why people go on about how motherhood is the "hardest job" and that mothers are wonderful and unselfish people who put their children first. Is that what being a mother is about, making yourself second class? I don't think that's a good example to set for your children. Motherhood is de-valued and I'll admit that I am as guilty as others of thinking this. When people say they have given up their career to look after the children I judge and pity them. I think, poor you, chained to the house. Why do I think that? I guess because it's not something that I would choose to do and I'm trying to justify my opinion.
Women are far worse than men at judging each other. I've seen stay at home mums or "full time" mothers (like there is such a thing as part time?!) slag off working mothers, saying they are selfish and putting their careers first. I see working mothers seeing housewives as pathetic individuals who have given up their ambition. Why are we always so divided?
Of course not all women should be mothers at all. Alex has been cursed with some really awful mother figures (not his current one) and it just goes to show that being a mother does not suddenly change your character and make you loving and unselfish.
But like I said, I am lucky!
Of course I am lucky because I have a lovely and unselfish mum. I always wonder why people go on about how motherhood is the "hardest job" and that mothers are wonderful and unselfish people who put their children first. Is that what being a mother is about, making yourself second class? I don't think that's a good example to set for your children. Motherhood is de-valued and I'll admit that I am as guilty as others of thinking this. When people say they have given up their career to look after the children I judge and pity them. I think, poor you, chained to the house. Why do I think that? I guess because it's not something that I would choose to do and I'm trying to justify my opinion.
Women are far worse than men at judging each other. I've seen stay at home mums or "full time" mothers (like there is such a thing as part time?!) slag off working mothers, saying they are selfish and putting their careers first. I see working mothers seeing housewives as pathetic individuals who have given up their ambition. Why are we always so divided?
Of course not all women should be mothers at all. Alex has been cursed with some really awful mother figures (not his current one) and it just goes to show that being a mother does not suddenly change your character and make you loving and unselfish.
But like I said, I am lucky!
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