Maiden names

My best friend gets married on Saturday and I'm very excited. She, like me is a modern kind of gal and won't take her husbands surname when she marries. Nor will she take the "mrs".

It's a funny thing, discussing names upon marriage and something women cannot really discuss with each other because it tends to be a little taboo. Two of my friends took their husbands names and I felt a little sad about it. But it was their decision I guess and I can see how the force of tradition makes it easier to go with the flow. I constantly have to explain my name, people address me as Mrs **** - assuming -wrongly - that I have the same surname as my husband. I refuse to answer marital status questions because it causes a judgment. People assume that I'm a "Mrs" and it irritates me. They also deliberately refuse to acknowledge my choices, addressing letters to "Mr and Mrs". For me it's about my identity and dropping my name completely would lose some of that. Of course my surname is actually my father's name - but it is the one that I have grown up with.

I can see why people do it for ease and to create a new family unit. But in that case, why not use the woman's name? Alex completely supports my decision. In fact he said "call yourself whatever you want, we are still married!". Touché