Reflections....

Today and tomorrow I'm pressing on with writing up my thesis, so that I can relax. That's hard to do but I've had a successful morning so far. It's hard to fully escape the thesis over Christmas as it is literally all over our flat. I get guilt trips about chapters I could be reading and writing etc. But I'm going to enjoy the precious time I have with Alex.

So now is a time for reflection. This time last year we had just moved to this flat. Aside from the bottom-rung feeders downstairs who made summer hellish, it has been okay and I have found it to be an adequate working environment. In about 6 months we'll be moving on which is a great feeling! I have had many spells of feeling down, largely because of my work and finding it hard going. But it has been a revelation to realise that I don't want to be an academic. I am not going to apply for jobs at Universities when I complete my PhD. I have done it for 10 years now (BA -MA-MA - PhD) and it is not for me. I don't like the isolation, I don't like the funding issues and bureaucracy and I don't like the fact that teaching is not valued as much as research. I also don't enjoy writing anymore, it has become a chore rather than the release that it used to be. So I'm going to throw myself into the big world of policy and charideeee! I think I can be of use to the many organisations that I have met during the course of my research. Cheesy as it might sound, I want to do something worthwhile and make a difference to the lives of victims of hate crime - rather than just talking about them.

That makes me content.